Thinking Out Loud

The Other ‘F’ Word…

I cannot hear or see the word ‘Fear’ without instantly thinking of the brilliantly titled book by Susan Jeffers ~ “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”. So, given I am addressing fear  it seems an obvious choice to start off with this excerpt from her book  ~ “I know most people resist the fact that constant practice is required, or we would all be positive thinkers. It might help to remember that your shower, your makeup, and your shave also don’t last, yet you don’t have any resistance to starting your day with showering, shaving, or putting on new makeup. These are refreshing activities — and so is positive thinking. In fact, it feels wonderful”!

Quite often when I feel inspired to write about something it is coming from a situation I am currently facing in my own life. And yes, fear has popped up this month just to keep me motivated and remind me I can kick its ass. Of course, there are different levels of fear and each of us react differently to things so it’s important to note you should never compare yourself to anyone else’s reaction to something and you should never feel bad or make anyone else feel bad for it. But what you should do is remember that each of our fears are relevant to each of us as individuals and more importantly remember that we all have the power to turn fear around.

That’s exactly what I am retraining my brain to do this month because I know well I can change my thought process towards it. The cause of this reminder to resurface – public speaking! Yes, standing in front of a room full of people and giving a talk; something that makes my heart and head pound so hard it feels like they’ll explode all over everyone present! Words fumble out, my mind goes blank and panic sets in. I can’t breathe again until it’s all over. It’s not because I doubt what I say or do, very much the opposite, to the point that I have so much passion and belief in what I do that I fear I won’t get it all out the way I want! It’s the way my brain is wired, so much goes on in it that it battles to come out all at the same time and I end up rambling! So why did I accept? Am I mad, why do it if that’s how it makes me feel? Because I know better. I know I have the power to do it positively and successfully. And I also believe that an element of fear is healthy, at its most basic level it helps keep us alive and is often a sign you are doing something pretty incredible. And the best bit is how amazing you feel afterwards, that elation and how proud you feel about yourself for leaving your comfort zone. Projecting my thoughts to that moment is why I accepted – I love (and love is the opposite of fear) that feeling of being alive in that very moment of pure positivity, accomplishment and gratitude.

When you break it down, life is a series of moments all joined together. We can choose how we live in each moment. We have and always will have the power to create our own reality; we are born with it just like our genetic DNA and must train ourselves to use it wisely. When you begin to understand this, you will begin to live in a way you never thought possible. You will even begin to welcome the challenge of fear! There are so many ways in which you can retrain your brain to deal with any fears you may have but my writing can quite often come out the same as my public speaking ….ramblings, because there is so much great stuff I want to share with you that it all competes to get out and onto the page in one go! So on this occasion I will just point out some ways of looking at fear through positive life lenses. When you feel it rising within, you can focus on the good aspects of it instead of automatically tuning into the negative we associate with it. Seeing how it can actually be beneficial instead of destructive enables you to feel good about it and feel victory;

Fear keeps us alive – it is a survival instinct and without it we wouldn’t know when something was dangerous. The fight or flight response is driven from fear.

Fear gives you confidence – there is nothing more satisfying than confronting your fear and winning. I once read that when you leave your comfort zone your body produces so much adrenaline it creates a natural high.

Fear can set you free – when you face a fear it enables you to fully live in the moment. Past & future time ceases to exist, without time there is freedom as does releasing your fears.

Fear creates action – facing our fears pushes us from just existing to actually living. Learning to beat your fears spurns you onto more positive actions and will lead you to living the live you actually want.

Fear indicates your incredibleness – fear can be a sign you are doing something incredible and we all want some more of that. If for example you think of the things you would like to do before you die (bucket list would be a good way of phrasing that!), I bet there are some that actually scare you a bit? If you chose these possibilities despite this then that means you want to do them and in turn means fulfilling your greatest potential, your incredible you!

Fear creates possibilities – fear prevents us from living the way we really want to. Embracing your fear and doing what you love opens you up to all sorts of possibilities. Instead of thinking of what could go wrong, think of everything that could go right!

There are so many great ways to view fear, the above mentioned are only scratching the surface.  Anyone looking to empower themselves, release their fears and move their lives forward would do well to read Susan Jeffers book ~ “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”. It is full of wonderful insight and practical tools to achieve what you really want in life. I have to tell you that by sitting and writing this from being driven to beat one of my own fears, not only do I feel calmer for reminding myself how to address the F word, I also feel quite excited now about giving my talk this week! Thank you universe for sending me the opportunity to empower myself & grow. One up for me! I encourage you all to give it a go, feel the fear and then kick its ass.

“ The hero and the coward both feel exactly the same fear, only the hero confronts his fear and converts it into fire” ~ Cus D’Amato

I would like to dedicate this piece to a woman who has brightened my light in many ways – Irene Delaney, thank you ॐ